Who am I?
Is that not a question we all ask at some point in our lives?
When I asked myself that question I could reel off endless information like; a mother, a wife (well not anymore), a sister, friend and so forth. Next, I would reel off job titles both paid and volunteered and then I would follow through with my skills until one day I gave this question some deeper thought and I soon came to realise who I am is not who I am showing up as.
No, I was stuck in the system of ‘doing’ and not being who I was meant to be. Don’t get me wrong I realise I had made choices, however, the choices were between ‘A’ or ‘B’ options offered by the external world and not necessarily the choices of my heart. In my earlier days, I did not recognise this, I was being pulled along with the 80’s boom and power; I excelled at work progressing both the employment and property ladder at an impressive speed for an ‘everyday girl’ from next door sensing my recognition and assets improving nicely. I worked hard during the day and I renovated my home on the weekends; with action, imagination and creativity I rose from a council girl to a property owner increasing my equity with each renovation. I was filled with energy and passion for both work and home improvements and for restbite I would take a holiday. I loved to travel (still do) and when my exhausted body required rest I hopped on a plane to another amazing and beautiful destination.
I went from single, through a handful of interesting relationships until I met my husband which obviously led to marriage. Four years after saying ‘I do’ I became a mum (BIG grin) and boy-o-boy nothing could have prepared me for that. On the practical side I was organised and ready to play home, wife and mum but I paid a price as I begun to disassociate with me; what I am talking about is the getting lost in playing mum and housekeeper while my husband continued the life he had before the birth. However, I put 100% into everything I did and being a mum would be no different. I unintentionally set a goal to be the best mum ever, not just the best mum I could be. I tended to everything, house-keeping, gardening, decorating, shopping, care-giving, nurse, accountant, chef, event organiser, costume making, entertainer, teacher, coach; my skills and job roles on a CV would be impressive –
Hear me now – ‘no stay at home parent should ever look to return to work and believe they have no skills to offer business because they do’.
Being a mum taught me a great deal; my children flourished making many friends and our home was filled with laughter, mishieve and joy. I soon got a reputation as ‘supermum’; the go-to person when someone was challenged or stuck, whether on raising children or understanding themselves as a parent, I seemed to naturally be able to shine a light for others. Raising people’s vibrations was natural to me. As the years rolled by, I came to realise I was too busy helping others that I had forgotten about supporting myself, I suddenly awoke to the fact that I had lost my passion. With each friend’s child moving into full-time education and my friends returning to work; that little spark within was diminishing and I no longer knew who I was or why I was here.
My life turned into a roller coaster with more downs than up. Divorce started things I did not expect, I was pushed out for being single, apparently a hazard to have around in the nice 2.4 house and car location, I was upsetting the applecart. This made me tearful (not my normal state prior to this hiccup) and alone so I decided to relocate; this had two effects a fresh start and heaps of endings. My health was already challenged but that did not stop it from taking a speedy downwards spiral; the isolation increased and I felt I no longer belonged in this world. The system was not working for me. Mood swings and depression took over, little did I know the real effects of Hashimoto Thyroiditis. I struggled endlessly with fatigue, joint and muscle pain, bowel issues, brain fog, all over hair loss, brittle hair, weight gain and heaps more. With Hashimoto’s, one auto-immune disease leads to another bringing on a cocktail of illnesses including Lupus, Sjogren’s, MS, Fibromyalgia, IBS, Frontal Alopecia, Arthritis and so on and after 20 years, endless consultants, counsellors and scans I have come to realise the “system” no longer supports me; not just medically but as a single parent, raising children with their own challenges, financially, food quality, utilities, communities and more.
I discovered the support and assistance I required to pull through was not there for me and the biggest input had to come from me even if it meant going against the system. I also made many other discoveries on my self-support path.
- Humility and being able to ask for help
- Understanding that being overly sensitive has more advantages than disabilities
- Metaphysical body; understanding I am more than the physical form
- Awakening; becoming consciously aware of my thoughts and the environment
- Numerology; a language of numbers and my hidden guidebook
So I started to live with new practices
- Supporting myself, putting my oxygen mask on first
- Owning my right to have a viewpoint and outlook
- Unite all aspects of me; mind, body and soul
- Love myself unconditionally
Understanding and accepting I am a soul in a human body has brought much clarity and a new way of living.
You see we have two sources of energy; the first comes from the food we fuel our body with and that, in today’s world is a challenge on its own with all the chemicals that go in and on our food in order to increase profit. The second is how we fuel our soul. Someone once shared with me that food and drink are like the petrol and water for the car; it is required to make it move as it does for us humans but no amount of petrol and water will shift the car if the battery is drained or dead. The soul is like the battery, if we don’t ignite our spark it too becomes drained or dead. I found myself at this point and it was confirmed by an energy healer I was seeing who warned me if I don’t change someone else would be looking after my children and living in my house.
So what is the fuel for the soul you may be asking, the answer is ‘loving yourself’. Not just loving yourself but ‘Loving Yourself First Everyday’. Simples! But not easy. It means changing, adapting across currents of energy we have never encountered before and re-educating ourselves. Now is the time to make the shift to embrace our purpose, serve our mission and live our vision every day. I am doing just that and I love what is turning up for me. I am more in ‘flow’ now than I have been in a long while. Do I still ferry a storm? Hell yes but now I no longer end up shipwrecked each time; I become more skilled in handling myself.
After taking on board my discoveries, I have been living and practising Numerology along with mind, body and soul alignment for a number of years. Working on myself, living the numbers daily and having clients do the same. I am now ready to share with many through a system I devised called ‘Foundations For Life’, a 12 month programme that gives you back your life, no more surviving, from this point forward it is all about thriving. It is more about living than existing. A pilot programme of this has proven very success with all attendees.
Foundations For Life is currently run from my beautiful home in Brighton and happens once per month. Other services I offer are one to one Skype coaching, again a 12-month programme because 12 months allows you to go through all 9 numbers and create new grooves to live by. This work takes time, after all, we are rewriting story that took you a lifetime to create. Life is very exciting when we live in flow.
I have learned by owning and embracing my purpose, fulfilling my mission and living my vision that my spark has turned into the flame it was born to be.
If you feel like there is more to life than what you currently feel and if you are looking to take back your personal power please get in touch, knowing your numbers opens up the world and path you designed for yourself before being born. Your soul never dies, it transitions and it created a path for you filled with awe and wonder, insight and power and a journey fit for the adventurer in you.
Life is a gift and it’s your L.Y.F.E. so start by
- L ove
- Y ourself
- F irst
- E veryday